


Still Still Still

by ri_ri_ku_7



Series: I Still Love You [1]
Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Angst, First Crush, Fluff, M/M, Music, Pining, Slow Burn, Student!Otoya, Teacher!Tokiya, Tokiya is 24 in this, based on the song still still still by natsuki and tokiya, compliments, eiichi is bad influence, highschool, otoya is 18, otoya is a delinquent, prepare for bad lyrical quotes, they're both walking messes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-26 16:39:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16685269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ri_ri_ku_7/pseuds/ri_ri_ku_7
Summary: Tokiya is an undergraduate studying to be a music teacher. He is a hard worker and content with his life.But then he meets a boy, who is a mix of burning passion, summer sunsets and endless promises.Tokiya's life falls apart.





	Still Still Still

**Author's Note:**

> this idea has been in my head for quite a while  
> i have no idea what i'm doing
> 
> also english is not my native language so apologizing in advance for all the natives having to read my cringey misuse of prepositions

 

 

There's water trickling along the window and the sky looks as gloomy as usual in a normal autumn day. A waft of air is rising from Tokiya's mug while he's absently stirring it. His gaze is fixed on the window, all the way across the street so he can see the blond beforehand.

"He's running late, again. Shinomiya is paying today", Tokiya mutters to himself and takes one careful sip of the steaming coffee. He swipes at his phone screen to check the time, sighs and starts counting the water drops on the window. He's not sure till where his counting ends when his thoughts are wandering back to last week.

 

\-----

 

Tokiya is stowing away his laptop and papers, making the last check that he has everything with him. There's a test next week about Romanticism and its strong influence over the Western style of music and the bluenette is very decided on acing it.

His notes aren't bad per se, but Tokiya wants to assemble them together into a timeline or something visual that makes it easier for his memory. It's a hassle and he's going to have to pull few all-nighters again. There's a few months of work to summarize after all.

"Tokiya-kun, good to see you again!" comes a happy exclamation and there's a weight on his back. It feels crushing and the bluenette is sure he's going to topple over. The familiar locks of golden hair fall onto his shoulder and it's ticklish against his neck.

"Shinomiya-san, not trying to come off as rude, but you're quite literally crushing me. My legs are trembling", Tokiya states, voice full of the usual coolness. He has sat through a 5-hour-long lecture and it's taking a small toll on his body. He should've participated in the stretching break they had.

Slowly the pressure is lifted and Tokiya feels grateful his back is still intact. It's a small relief to not feel like someone made you carry a bag full of rocks.

He checks that the table is clean of his things for the second time, closes his bag's zipper and turns around to face the older man. Natsuki Shinomiya has his airy smile plastered on his face, glasses hanging low and formal attire on as usual. His whole presence is screaming class and glamour that is not to be casually approached.

"Tokiya-kun, Tokiya-kun, I need a tiiiny favor", Shinomiya drawls and almost latches onto Tokiya again but he dodges. The royal prince image shatters into tiny pieces and the bluenette is almost taken aback between the conflicting image and personality, if not, well, being used to it.

"I remember telling you to drop the honorifics. We're not in Japan anymore", Tokiya says with a huff, small smile clinging to his lips.

He carefully eyes the other man, taking in the gleam in the blond's eyes. It's dazzling and that's already ringing multiple bells in Tokiya's mind. That look can only mean one thing for the bluenette and usually nothing good comes out of it. Embarrassment and shame are the more common feelings.

"So, what's the matter", he sends the man a scowl to already tell he's apprehensive, "you are well aware that I have to prepare for an exam."

It's peculiar, out of their normal, almost rhythmic exchanges for Shinomiya to seek him out in the middle of the day. They have known for a long time so Tokiya is used to the man's quirkiness but this is out of the ordinary.

"I can't talk about the details here. Are you free in few hours?" the blond man inquires. He still has a small smile, posture near perfect and a calm air to him. The spark in his eyes hasn't disappeared and Tokiya wants to grasp for air few times to calm himself internally, but decides against it.

"The usual place then. 3pm, sharp. I'm serious", he finally answers. Tokiya is holding back another sigh to give the other man one cold glance, to strengthen the point he's making. He doesn't stay to hear an answer, just throws his bag on his shoulder and starts making his way out of the lecture hall.

Reaching the door, he waves his hand without turning back and joins the flood of people in the hallway.

Their exchange has been on the short side but being a mandatory class and everything, people are still loitering around and exchanging greetings. It's a pain to deal with because big crowds aren't his thing.

Tokiya speeds up and hopes he doesn't get interrupted on the way to the exit.

Luckily most of the people in his grade know to leave him alone. He has an icy aura around him and a permanent, emotionless mask on his face, at least according to Shinomiya, so very rarely anybody dares to approach him.

Although he doesn't want to admit it, they are both a popular duo in the school grounds. It would be a lie to say they aren't the talk of the campus most of the time. Countless rumors, fan clubs and bordering hysterical women are a daily occurrence in his life.

Tokiya hates going to the university. He prefers online lessons and practicing within a locked studio few blocks from the university that he owns a key for. Of course Shinomiya has one too, he sometimes comes over to practice his viola and they end up having a jamming session. He's content with that.

Once he's out from the school building, he takes his phone and checks the time. It's fifteen minutes over one in the afternoon, which means he still has time to kill before their meeting. There's few options he can take; going to the library and starting the tedious process of summarizing his notes or going to pick up his jacket from his apartment.

The weather is rapidly becoming colder and he doesn't manage to stop the tremble when a gust of wind passes through him. Make it a scarf as well.

 

\-----

 

Tokiya lives around 20 minutes from the university. He doesn't own a car and he likes to walk so he usually commutes by foot. Sometimes he rides a bike, mostly during the summer if he has classes.

He lives in a relatively small condo, alone, but it's comfortable. The apartment is styled by modern designers, since the building is relatively new but Tokiya has added his own touch on making it seem more like home. However, it's not much since Tokiya prefers the minimalistic apartment and seeing the countertops immaculate, not a tuft of dust anywhere.

To make matters for the better or worse, depending on Tokiya's day, Shinomiya lives right next door. His apartment seems more spacious due to brighter colors and the man has a small studio attached to his bedroom. Tokiya knows this, because he spends time there enough to own a spare key. Shinomiya also has his, just in case an accident happens.

They have been friends for as long as Tokiya can remember so he has his utmost trust placed on the blond man. It's not easy to achieve, with the bluenette's cold and hardly approachable behavior, but Shinomiya has it nonetheless.

There's still an hour before their meet-up so Tokiya brews some herbal tea and sits down on his black sofa. He spares a glance to the TV and notices some nonsense is running again; reality TV and variety shows of all kinds that seem so insisted on grabbing people's money that it's hardly even relatable anymore.

Tokiya sets down his mug and gets more comfortable; burrowing himself in the blanket and cushions. It feels warm and cozy, safe from the evil of the outside world. It feels like home.

Time passes and Tokiya nods off. As a genuinely prepared person, he has set an alarm because he knows how easily he tends to snooze off. School years are usually the toughest to stay awake, especially during the winter seasons.

Soon the room is filled with guitar strums, smashing of drums and screaming loud enough to wake up the neighbors. Not that Shinomiya would mind.

Tokiya lazily opens his eyes, out of it all and shifts to turn off the hard rock that's blaring from his phone. It has been for years the only genre he regularly wakes up to. It's not that he's usually a deep sleeper, but when accumulated stress and sleep deprivation cuts him some slack, he descends into a coma-like state.

There's a chuckle, full of warmth because of the fond memories in Tokiya's mind. The multiple occasions he had worked himself to the bone and Shinomiya broke into his apartment to wake him up to take some tests. To say the least, he's grateful.

The time is approaching half past two, so the bluenette scrambles up from the soft nest he has made around him in the past half an hour. The coldness of the room feels like a slap in the face but he steadies himself and walks back to the entrance.

A warm coat, wool scarf and a pair of gloves are grabbed and he's all set to leave.

Tokiya checks the door gets locked when he leaves and puts his covered hands in his coat pockets. He feels cold really easily and somehow the hallways of the condo always send chills down his spine.

There's the sound of steps descending the stairs and the noise of metal clinking while he fiddles with his keys. The Sun's still shining its tiny rays upon the land but the darkness of autumn is starting to show. Soon there's going to be the rainstorms whipping mercilessly at windows and people's umbrellas.

Autumn isn't really Tokiya's favorite season. Well, he doesn't really have a favorite season, but he likes it when the sky is clear blue and he can cram outside. Fresh air always eases his mind, making the headaches go away.

Then there's also the summer sunsets. They're raging in multiple shades of red and always so bright it makes Tokiya's skin crawl. He's mesmerized by them and stops on his way home to see at least one every week.

It's one of the things he cannot explain or reason to himself. Even Shinomiya sometimes gives him an exasperated look, when he stares at the scorching fire dancing on the horizon. Eventually, he lets go and they move on.

 

\-----

 

He has barely walked a few blocks when he recognizes the familiar outing of the café. It's a small corner café with a down-to-earth atmosphere. There's private table groups and the prices aren't half-bad. Usually they even give generous student discounts.

Tokiya is somewhat a regular there already so he gets a warm welcome the instant he enters. They have an old bell signaling his entry, and he gets shown to a table further in the back. The waiter, a woman with fiery eyes and long red curls notes down how he's shivering so she sits him down near a heater, away from the cool windows.

Small smile is pulling on his lips, but he bites his lip softly to hold it. It's too early to get carefree with Shinomiya still with-holding his 'favor'. The word leaves a bad taste to his mouth; the times before have taught him to remain cautious.

When he's done ordering a cup of coffee and making himself comfortable, Tokiya checks his phone for messages and takes a quick look at the local news. It's mostly negative, global things in the titles but one paragraph catches his interest. It's about vandalism done to a small side street wall by few students not too far from his university. Granted, they just sprayed the wall with something resembling a mural, but the news article makes it seem like a huge crime they could be sent to jail for.

"One cup of coffee with lots of cream, please. Ah, you have gone to the hairdresser, haven't you. Those curls look great on you."

"Here, the rest is on me. Thank you, again", comes a familiar voice. It's nothing out of the ordinary that Shinomiya, of all people, showers people with compliments and praise. It's not as bad as it used to be, but Tokiya feels a bit embarrassed nonetheless. It's to the same woman who served him his coffee so the bluenette tries to be discreet and hide himself further into the comfy corner he is seated in.

He watches the blond man swiftly skip to his table, not even watching the cup in his hand. Shinomiya offers him a bright smile and sits himself down opposite of him. The smile doesn't leave his face even when Tokiya fixes him with a glare.

There's silence for a long time, both of them just sipping the warm goods and enjoying the peace of the evening. Most people have either already left or are yet to come so it's almost empty around them.

Tokiya holds his cup in his hands, relishing in the warmth. "So", he starts, "what do you want me to do?"

A cough, because Shinomiya thinks it to be a good idea to try to drink at the same time Tokiya starts to speak.

"Hmm, I remember you telling me that you are still devoid of any place for practical lessons."

Tokiya eyes the blond man suspiciously, boring into the eternal goldness of the other's eyes. There's not even an inkling of dishonesty.

"You're correct. What's that to you?"

"My workplace", the taller man sends a look that begs the question 'do you remember' so Tokiya nods, "is in a bind right now."

Talk about going straight to the point. Tokiya's thoughts are running around and he's wondering what he should do to drive the conversation forward. It's not like he knows exactly what's going on but the disgusting feeling in his stomach tells it's not anything good. He expects the worst and goes with annoyance.

" _Shinomiya-san,_ I have places to be. Keep it short."

The older man squirms in his seat but never lets his eyes wander away from Tokiya's. It's honestly worrying behavior from the blond and the feeling is growing worse by every passing minute. If it has Shinomiya like this, it has to be something of great importance. That in itself speaks volumes how bad it's going to be for Tokiya. Trust him, he's speaking from experience of many years.

"I know I usually am quite pati-"

"I assure you it's mutually beneficial and it fits you perfectly, Tokiya-kun", Shinomiya interrupts and there's a small smile playing on his lips.

Tokiya really doesn't like that look; it's like Shinomiya is already telling him he has won the bluenette over and the sparkling of his eyes is nothing short of mischievous. While it's true that's probably not intended on Shinomiya's case, it still feels extremely uncomfortable. Tokiya just grunts for an answer and braces himself.

"Our former music teacher is on maternity leave. Come to our school."

"What", Tokiya manages to choke out. This wasn't what he was expecting, _at all._

 

\-----

 

"I can't believe I agreed to this without even going to see the school. How careless of me", Tokiya curses under his breath as he continues to stir his coffee. It's starting to grow cold, just as much as the droplets are increasing on the window.

It's already way over their meeting time and he's growing frustrated. The exam is long gone, with him getting full marks on it, but he still has few assignments at home waiting to be finished. If the other man hadn't been late in the first place, Tokiya would be at his house, drinking _warm_ hot chocolate and scribbling down his thoughts.

The familiar bell rings like mocking him with its light sound and he stops all the hand movements. Tokiya rests his head on the chair's back and lets out a sigh that makes his happiness escape for the next five years.

He loves teaching, although having technically never done it once, and he likes children, or teenagers in this case, enough to actually make the effort to teach them all of his knowledge. There's a reason he chose music as his major and decided after long pondering to branch out for psychology so he could become a teacher.

But.

He has no experience. It's a school full of children, either at the end or in the middle of their puberty, and Tokiya is not sure if he's able to handle that. Shinomiya had assured him that everything would turn out _fine,_ but it's not erasing the doubt in his mind. He's an only child, who has always had some trouble opening up to other people, and now he's supposed to teach other people how to do it when he has no idea about it himself. The whole thing seems ridiculous.

"Before you begin to dwell on your thoughts more, have a look at these files."

"Also good evening", Shinomiya says cheerfully as he sits down. There's warm coffee planted in front of Tokiya, with an incredible amount of whipped cream and it's sending a few involuntary shivers up his arms. He still grabs it, because it's better than his already cooled down black coffee.

"You're paying, by the way. Why were you late?"

"Ah, our meeting ran later today. You know how those conservative teachers are with these things. It wasn't easy getting their approval", Shinomiya sighs and sips a big chug of his coffee. It has the whipped cream smearing all over his face and with the combination of a suit Tokiya has to hold back his chuckling.

He curiously shifts his gaze to the files laying splayed on the small table and takes few of them to flip through. His eyebrows knit together, seeing the content inside of the files. It's mostly student profiles; dates of birth, class numbers, their family situations and all the other technicalities. His eyes get stuck on the part 'musical expertise' and the bluenette lifts his head to offer a confused look to Shinomiya.

The taller man is absolutely brimmed with joy drinking his coffee, radiating light even in Tokiya's eyes. He patiently waits for the 28-year-old man to finish enjoying the small moment and proceeds to closely examine the other's face. There's bags under his eyes and the golden locks look somewhat disheveled. Small worry is starting to rise up Tokiya's throat, but he knows better who usually takes care of themselves. Still, seeing Shinomiya look so _stressed_ has the bluenette rethinking his former opinion. 

They need a teacher as soon as possible, and Shinomiya has placed his complete trust on Tokiya. It makes warmth bubble on his chest, reminding him how he's still relied on and able to deal with something of this caliber. Some of the bad feelings in his mind disappear and he's feeling refreshed as much as he can, in this situation.

"It's a very traditional school, heavily focusing on musical talents. It used to be a private academy for boys, but got co-ed few years back. The female population is still quite small, however", Shinomiya answers after taking a sip from his mug again. His focus is back on Tokiya and the gaze searching for the blue eyes is serious. It always feels strange to see the man look his age with all of his other child-like mannerisms.

"Tokiya-kun, you would be in charge of the mandatory musical lessons and then few of the more talented students. We carefully considered your studies as well, so you would only have classes few hours a day, depending on how you arrange the lessons with the special students", Shinomiya says. It has Tokiya feeling reassured, but on the edge at the same time.

"Are these files the talented students?"

"You catch on quick. Indeed they are, the mandatory classes are less intense so you should learn faces and names pretty fast."

Tokiya audibly sighs. He's still reeling that he's actually going to do this thing at all but haphazardly grabs the few files left on the table. It's the best offer he has gotten so far and it takes care of all timing problems with his classes in the university and teaching. He could probably find someone to tutor, but teaching a real class is always better experience-wise. As a small bonus, he's getting paid like a full-time employee and the extra cash is definitely helping out in paying the rent. The less he has to depend on his parents, the better.

Thinking it over, there's no logical reason why he shouldn't do it. Tokiya lets out another puff of air and Shinomiya's smile widens next to him.

 

\-----

 

It's the start of the new week and Tokiya finds himself in front of the school building. It mainly consists of red bricks that have suffered the strain of time, but it still manages to end up looking elegant. Intricate designs are carved next to the windows that are littered all over the walls, and the doors have golden rims. The whole building looks like a rich man's mansion rather than an academy building, but Tokiya shrugs it off and enters through the heavy doors.

At least he assumed they would be heavy, given the way they look, but the doors open with ease and he almost falls because of the power he has put on his push. Not that he would've minded falling to the shining white floors that have been scrubbed with such vigor there's not a single stain anywhere, but if there was anyone to witness their future teacher scrambling on the floors, it would prove out to be awkward.

Tokiya collects himself and carefully puts the mask of calmness on his face. He would rather appear cool and collected at all times, although there's a certain hopelessness settling in his heart. There's multiple stairways starting from the mirror-like floor and they are pale white. All of them look the same, but it's plain obvious they end up to different places. It has his eyes spinning.

Shinomiya only instructed him to come inside and wait for him there, but no blond man is in sight. Tokiya ends up walking near the stairs leading straight up and leaning to the handrail. It's cold to the touch, just like the crispy weather outside, otherwise the school building feels comfortably warm.

From what Tokiya remembers, usually schools were either way too hot or too cold and making students sweat in their winter boots. His highschool used to be very fussy about students moving about so it's no wonder there's nobody inside. Growing older he knows there's some merit to it, but it still seems pointless work with the amount of effort it takes from the teachers; the rowdy ones would stick their hands to anything they could get a hold of and squirm until there were bruises on the teacher's limbs.

"Good morning, Tokiya-kun. Heading left", Shinomiya says as he pops up from the stairs. He has a khaki suit on with a matching tie and the whole set-up is screaming professionalism. His blond hair and glasses are just adding to the mood. Tokiya feels underdressed at the moment, only settling for clean jeans, a white shirt and a fashionable jacket. He had a hunch there might've been a dressing code, the school being an old private academy and all, but he didn't realize he had to dress up so soon.

Shinomiya catches onto his small panic and gives a reassuring smile at that. He has begun walking upstairs so Tokiya scrambles to follow.

"Don't worry about that, I'm the only one dressing this formally. Well, maybe apart from Masato-kun", there's a fond snicker at the end. It rings to the bluenette's ears and piques his interest. Time to forget about modesty because someone has clearly caught Shinomiya's attention.

"Who-"

"You will meet them soon. I don't mind you being enthusiastic, but patience is a virtue", Shinomiya interrupts again. There's a teasing lilt to his voice that goes straight to Tokiya's nerves so he huffs annoyed and quiets down. Following Shinomiya through the maze of stairs is easy enough, but Tokiya doesn't want to even think when he has to navigate through all of this alone. It's not that he's directionally challenged but the whole place has no logical pattern to it.

The older man stops abruptly and Tokiya almost collapses onto him. He crankily takes a step next to the blond, seeing that they are out of the staircase and on the white floor again, and checks where they have arrived. There's a hallway to the right, with multiple doors open inward and loud voices streaming from the doorways. Tokiya is pretty sure he can hear some swearing as well.

"They're all good people, although... they can be a bit intimidating", Shinomiya says, voice quieter. That at least makes it clear the bluenette is about to meet important people, or that's what he guesses anyway, and his heartbeat jumps up a notch. Tokiya checks his face is as calm as the still ocean and there's not even a trace of panic lingering around. First impressions are crucial.

Shinomiya is on the move again and he follows. They pass by some of the doors, Tokiya not keeping count, and end up to one of the closed doors in the middle. Without any warning or a single word, Shinomiya swings the door open inward and bursts inside. A sigh escapes the younger man's lips, but he walks after the blond anyway.

The whole comfortable atmosphere in the room stills the instant Tokiya enters the room. It becomes loaded with electricity and he can feel the curious gazes roaming over his body. Highly uncomfortable.

"Shinomiya-sensei, ya back finally! I need ya to sign me this note so the boss is outta my back!"

There's a tuft of red hair in Tokiya's vision and soon a boy is running towards them. It all happens incredibly fast, even if it feels like time is stopping for Tokiya. Maybe it really does.

Shinomiya gets tackled by the boy, he doesn't falter or even move by an inch, and then there's light laughter echoing in the room. The redhead nuzzles into Shinomiya's arms for a bit, looks up and there's almost blinding light shining from him even when Tokiya cannot clearly see his face.

Then that face turns to him.

He sees the red eyes; rubies boring into the core of his soul. There's a fire, a passion so huge it reminds Tokiya of the summer sunsets he loves so much. The eyes sparkle, interest clear and honest, and soon they morph into something so dazzling Tokiya is sure he is forgetting to breathe.

He's screwed.


End file.
